Posts Tagged ‘baby steps’

Ask The Eye, Take Baby Steps

September 15, 2010

Dear Eye View,
Ten years ago, I married the perfect man. He had two young children from a previous marriage, and I was and am happy to be their stepmother. But now, at the end of my natural reproductive years, I’d love to have a child. My husband is dead-set against it, and he has the vasectomy to prove it. I am the one who changed my mind, and I get that I am otherwise blessed with a wonderful life. But I am heartbroken. I think about my choices: Stay or go? Count my blessings or take my chances? How can I leave someone who is so otherwise wonderful for me, and to me? But how can I live with this huge hunger in my soul for a child? It’s hard to not feel bitterness toward my husband, even though that seems unreasonable. Why should I expect him to change just because I did? If I were younger, the choice would be difficult, but more clear-cut: Leave, in hopes of finding someone who would also like a baby. I’d be willing to go to any reasonable length to have a child—reproductive assistance (including donor eggs), adoption, etc. But I don’t know whether I’d be willing to do it alone. I want to parent with a partner. What should I do? I’m too heartsick to see clearly.

—Longing

Dear Longing

I feel your pain. Maybe you should think outside the box. Take baby steps. Just picture it.. Hope this helps.