Posts Tagged ‘Awkward Family photos’

Ask The Eye, No Art For Art’s Sake

December 8, 2011

Dear Eye View,

My long-term girlfriend’s stepfather paints nude pictures of her. He became her stepfather when she was 7 years old, but he didn’t start painting her until she was in her 20s. This is confusing and creepy to me. We are both in our early 30s. He’s 80 and seems to be a down-to-earth, mellow fellow. We even have one of the paintings. It’s a tasteful rendition of her backside with her face looking over her shoulder. I am an extremely liberal man, so posing nude doesn’t bother me. But I didn’t start asking questions until Thanksgiving when he showed us the rest of the paintings, which included frontal portraits. It didn’t feel right, but maybe it’s jealousy on my part. He paints other nude young women, so shouldn’t he just stick with them? I’m confused and can’t figure out what it means in terms of the big picture.


Dear Confused

I understand your concern. You said you are extremely liberal and jealous of the fact that your girlfriends stepfather paints her in the nude. Maybe you would like to be painted in the nude by him as well. For starters, suggest being part of their annual family Christmas card. Hope this helps




Ask The Eye, A Little Landscaping Helps Curb Appeal

March 30, 2011

Dear Eye View,
Last fall, I met a terrific woman from the Mediterranean who may be “the one.” She’s beautiful and has a great body that she likes to show off, but she is also very hairy. She never shaved back home, and having now been steeped in years of women’s studies in the United States, she has become militant about not conforming to the ideal of hairless womanhood. She can’t wait to spend lots of time at my parents’ beach house this summer. She has bought a tiny bikini that she plans on wearing, so lots of her pubic hair is guaranteed to be on display. My mom and dad are going to faint. Hair in the armpits? European. Hair on the legs? Granola. But pubic hair all over the place? I’ve told her she may want to “trim up a bit,” but she refuses. What to do, besides hide her from my mom and dad?


Dear Hairified

I understand your problem. Appeal to her vanity: Tell her that if she refuses to trim her undergrowth, your parents’ embarrassment will keep them from appreciating her great mind and beautiful figure. A little landscaping can help the curb appeal. Othewise you could have an awkward family photo.

Hope this helps.



Ask The Eye, Should I Drink My Way Through The Holidays?

December 30, 2010

Dear Eye View

The only way I can get through a dinner with the In-Laws is to get quietly drunk. My husband’s family is one of those utterly joyless, humorless, starched WASPy families. The holiday season brings out the absolute worst in them, since everything and everyone must adhere to the myth of total harmony and effortless perfection. We are all to be all smiles all the time, and nothing that even hints of controversy, such as preferring an iPad to a Kindle, must be discussed. Needless to say, the only way I can get through a dinner with the in-laws is to just get quietly drunk and pray for the end. My husband says this is the only solution, and he does exactly the same thing. But I have another idea. I would like to host ALL the holiday fesitivies at our house, where we are decidedly more animated. I realize this means that all the work, all the cleanup, and all the expenses will fall on me, but I am prepared to make that sacrifice. If my husband issued the invitations firmly, he would not be challenged. No conflicts, after all! We’re all perfectly happy, la la la! In the alternative, I think I should be able to plead a devastating migraine and excuse myself from going to his mother’s house. This should work for at least four or five years. What do you think? Annoyed

Dear Annoyed

I understand what you are saying. Though, when did Waspy become associated with joyless, humorless, and starched? You don’t seem very tolerant or able to find the fun in others.Maybe Ipad and Kindle talk is boring to other people. I think you are as annoying as your inlaws. Also how does moving dinner to your house make everyone more interesting and fun? I recommend sticking to your first idea and quietly drinking your way through the holidays. Do everyone a favor. Hope this helps.





Ask The Eye, Take Baby Steps

September 15, 2010

Dear Eye View,
Ten years ago, I married the perfect man. He had two young children from a previous marriage, and I was and am happy to be their stepmother. But now, at the end of my natural reproductive years, I’d love to have a child. My husband is dead-set against it, and he has the vasectomy to prove it. I am the one who changed my mind, and I get that I am otherwise blessed with a wonderful life. But I am heartbroken. I think about my choices: Stay or go? Count my blessings or take my chances? How can I leave someone who is so otherwise wonderful for me, and to me? But how can I live with this huge hunger in my soul for a child? It’s hard to not feel bitterness toward my husband, even though that seems unreasonable. Why should I expect him to change just because I did? If I were younger, the choice would be difficult, but more clear-cut: Leave, in hopes of finding someone who would also like a baby. I’d be willing to go to any reasonable length to have a child—reproductive assistance (including donor eggs), adoption, etc. But I don’t know whether I’d be willing to do it alone. I want to parent with a partner. What should I do? I’m too heartsick to see clearly.


Dear Longing

I feel your pain. Maybe you should think outside the box. Take baby steps. Just picture it.. Hope this helps.

Ask The Eye,Threes Company… Four Ain’t Happening

August 10, 2010

Dear Eye View: My husband and I have been married a little over a year. My mother-in-law recently decided to display a “family picture” taken at our wedding in her house but chose one without me in it. (The photographer took the same picture with all of us as well.) I found this incredibly hurtful, especially because this is the only picture from our wedding day she chose to put out. When I approached her about how hurt I was, she brushed me off by saying that she hadn’t yet found a frame she liked for the picture of my husband and I that she ordered. My problem isn’t that it’s the only picture she has out but that I am excluded from the family picture on the day I supposedly became a part of their family. Am I overreacting, as my husband claims, or do I have a right to an explanation and possibly a replacement photo?

Incomplete Family Picture

 Dear Incomplete Family Picture..

Your Mother- in- Law is a jerk. Let it go.. Get the picture? Hope this helps.

Eye View

Ask the Eye, Don’t Wait On Pumpkin, To Get A Little Frisky..

July 26, 2010

Dear Eye View,
 I am in my late 40s, dating a wonderful woman the same age. We’ve known each other for seven years, been best friends for five, and have dated for two of those. Why the wait? My girlfriend is a widow. She married her high-school sweetheart when she was 30’s and he died in an accident less than a year later. Understandably, she has been hesitant to move forward with any commitment to another guy. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to marry this awesome woman, but I have been sensitive to her need to move slowly.  When I finally thought the time was right, I asked her to marry me. She said that she wasn’t quite ready and she wanted to hold off on marriage plans until her cat died. (Strange as it sounds, I felt it was a reasonable request since she and her husband got this cat together when they were married.) This cat, Pumpkin, was 16 when we made the agreement and seemed to be on his last legs. Eye, that was almost three years ago. I hate to pressure my girlfriend to break our agreement, but this cat is a freak of nature that is ruining my chance at happiness! What to do?

Non Cat Lover

Dear Non Cat Lover

It is important to share in traditions as she did with her first husband. Since Pumpkin has 10 cat lives I would recommend starting a new tradition with her. Get another cat so that you and she can start a new tradition and Pumpkin a new friend. If you can’t beat the freak of nature, become a freak of nature…Then you can get a little frisky and get your freak on…

Hope this helps