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Ask The Eye Help! My Mentor Married A Monster

Dear Eye View    Gloria has been first a mentor and then a mother figure to me since we began working together two years ago. I was shocked when I found out she’d gotten married; I hadn’t even realized she was dating someone. I have since learned that Gloria’s husband Jason is a prison inmate. From what little she told me, I surmised his crime was serious enough in nature that he might never be released. Against my better judgment, I did an Internet search and found out Jason raped three women. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I despise sexual predators, and now I can barely look Gloria in the eye. I cannot understand why she would marry a rapist. I cannot help but feel she is pathetic and desperate. I don’t know how to continue our relationship, and it is exhausting for me to pretend like nothing has changed between us. What should I do? Confused

 

Dear Confused  I understand your concern.This is a private matter for Gloria and since she apparently has kept it out of the workplace, so should you. Mentors can be wonderful, but they can also be stifling, so obviously it’s time for you to ease your way out of this relationship. As for her being a “mother figure”—consider that that isn’t what you need professionally, so also make a course correction in this aspect of your relationship. It could be that Gloria is not only a mentor to you but mentoring, providing career counseling, and stopping US extradition for her new husband as well.  Hope this helps.

EV

vandersloot

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