Ask The Eye Ur-ine Trouble in Colorado

Dear Eye View

A very good friend of mine, Peter, is on the verge of being hired for a job he desperately needs in Colorado. The problem is the company requires a drug test, and he smokes pot daily. So he asked to “borrow” some of my clean urine, so he can surreptitiously pass it off as his own. Peter is married with a child, and is a generally great guy, though he is a little on the irresponsible side, and has had issues (not pot-related) keeping jobs. This job is working in an office and doesn’t involve law enforcement or public safety. I want to help him and his family, and I have no moral issue with people smoking pot. I have a well-paying job and a family of my own, so I have a lot to lose. I know the simple answer is to tell him to stop smoking pot, but that’s not going to happen. Are there any legal ramifications for me if I help him and he gets caught?

—Urine Trouble

Dear UT

I understand your concern.It’s a classic stoner move to think that you’re going to get away with subbing your clean friend’s urine for your own. Before you two waste-management masterminds get any further in the planning of this caper, watch the episode of Workaholics in which the trio of goof balls attempts to pass their office drug test by buying urine at an elementary school playground. There’s no legal ramfication for you unless you call creating a new plot line for a drug themed comedy breaking the law of good tastes. The other option is he could stop smoking pot but that would require he take a 4 month  job sabbatical during the application process to clear the pot from his system. Besides pot is legal in Colorado

Hope this helps






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