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Ask The Eye Double Parked In The Friend Zone

Dear Eye View

My husband has a close female friend—they met in college, became friends, dated briefly one summer, and then went back to being friends. She eventually married and we enjoyed hanging out as couples. My husband has lunch with her once a month or so, and they text weekly. Recently she and her husband decided to separate. During this turmoil, she has been calling and texting my husband much more often, which is understandable. Now she has asked something that makes me want to put my foot down. We all live on the West Coast, but she hails from the other side of the country. She wants to fly out there with my husband, pick up her old car, then drive all the way back with my husband. He will do just about anything for her. He helped build her a new office, picks her up from the airport, etc., so he wants to do this. He asked me for my permission, but was taken aback when I expressed concern. He feels that I should let him have a “friend” vacation since I get together for a trip with my college roommates—who are female!—once a year. I want to say no because I am really unhappy about this but I don’t want to be “the bad guy” and I don’t want my husband to think I don’t trust him. I would really appreciate some advice. Just Say No

Dear JSN

I understand your concern. Either your husband is stuck in the friend zone  or has a friend with benefits. They are either playing you for a fool, or they are fooling themselves about the likelihood of their fooling around before they reach Ohio. (I lean toward the former.) You’re right to say permission denied, but you also need to assert that this friendship is undermining your marriage. You and your husband need to do some work on putting each other first,  whether your husband is stuck in the friend zone or has a friend with benefits, you are the one being screwed.

Hope this helps..

EV

 

just friends

 

 

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