Dear Eye View
I dated a man who was separated from his wife (they were both aware of the separation, thankfully). While we were dating, he stayed the night a handful of times. The last time, I noticed that a pearl necklace my father had given me was missing. I turned the house upside down, but never found the necklace. Eventually our relationship fizzled and he reconciled with his wife. Then, a mutual friend forwarded an image his wife sent out of a beautiful pearl necklace he had given her to symbolize their new commitment to each other. This necklace already has sentimental value—to me! The necklace has unique elements, and I have photos of myself wearing it. When I tried to ask the guy about the necklace, he blocked my number. I could contact his wife. I don’t want to squash their reconciliation, but I can’t think of any delicate way to explain the situation and ask for the necklace to be returned. Should I let the necklace go and wish them the best, or should I let her know that her husband is part of the Bling Ring?
—The Bedroom Burglar’s Ex
I understand your concern.Perhaps this guy said to himself that he wanted a memento of your beautiful affair, and now every time he sees it around his wife’s neck he thinks of you. You have visited the Karma Cafe and have several options on the menu, all bad, with steaming side orders of unintended consequences. In Column A, you could contact his wife and explain that during this interlude, a pearl necklace given to you by your father disappeared from your house. Say the mystery was solved when a friend forwarded you a picture of the wife wearing it and demand the necklace back. Acknowledge this is distressing news, but that if she has any doubts you can send her photographic evidence the necklace is yours. In Column B, if she decides that instead of returning it, she’ll just also block your number, gather your photographic evidence and have the police visit this pair. In Column C, you could chatize your mutual friend for not minding their own business.. In Column D you could let it go and tell your Dad you lost the necklace. At the risk of having a married women harrassing you, playing “he said she said” with the police, losing a mutual friend, or having the guy trying to reconnect with you after being kicked out, you would be best advised take the excretement sandwich from Column D and let it go. You don’t sounded prepared to be schooled by a wife with an advanced degree. Hope this helps.
Tags: ask the eye