Dear Eye View I am currently in marriage counseling with my wife after she discovered my three-year-long relationship with another woman. After a lot of soul-searching, I truly want to make the marriage work and ended my affair with “Sandy” for good. The problem we have is Sandy’s son, “John.” Sandy has been a single mother most of her life and I am the only father figure he’s known. John and I developed a bond over the years and I feel as though it would be cruel to cut him out of my life because I am no longer in a relationship with his mother. My wife is adamant that she won’t stay in the marriage if I maintain any ties with either John or Sandy. I feel disappointed in her for not having the compassion to see John is the innocent victim here who needs my ongoing support. I’ve previously promised John I would always be a part of his life and I don’t want to go back on that. Shouldn’t my wife be more understanding of a child’s needs? Confused
Dear C
I understand your concern.You may have done a lot of soul-searching and realized you would prefer to stay with your wife. But if her terms for repairing your marriage are unacceptable to you, then you’ve got a serious dilemma. I can see both your and her points of view here, and no matter what happens John gets hurt. You don’t mention whether you have children of your own, but if you do, even if they’re grown, she may be more concerned about her own family.This is a difficult situation. But can you imagine how how much complicated it could be if Sandy was gone and you and your wife had to care for John who would be a constant reminder of Sandy.Could be a case of ol blue eyes crying in the rain. Hope this helps
EV
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