Ask The Eye Airing The Laundry Like A Frightened Turtle

Dear Eye View,
A couple of months ago, I asked out a woman I did not know well who is in the same extended social group I’m in. We had a few nice dates and kissed at the end of the third one. Things seemed to be going well, but then she texted me stating she didn’t want to see me anymore. I thought she should have called to deliver this news, but I let it go. Not long after that, I noticed that some of the women in my social circle were acting different toward me, almost wary. I asked one woman who was a good friend what was going on, and she told me that this lady was accusing me of sending her pictures of my genitals by email after our last date. I did no such thing. These pictures were circulated among the ladies, so my friend showed me. The email address is one I used years ago before switching to Gmail. I didn’t even know the account was still active. The text consisted of generic sexual comments. The pictures are close-up shots of a penis. This person is much more well-appointed than I could ever hope to be. I feel like I’m in an impossible spot. I cannot exactly show everyone my more modest equipment to prove that this is not me. I can explain it’s a very old email address, but it was mine, so that explanation sounds flimsy. I can only assume someone did this as a cruel trick, but it has the potential to ruin my standing among all the people in my circle. Should I just call the woman and assert that the photos are not me? How do I clean this up?

—Those Pictures Are Not Me

Dear Pics
I understand your concern. Forget trying to explain all the email hacking issues. To clear your name you must act on this agressively and air this dirty laundry. Tell the people in your group that is not you, and you will prove it by having sex with everyone in your group at anytime and anyplace..First though ask them if they understand shrinkage. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Hope this helps.


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