Dear Eye View, My partner and I recently got engaged and have begun the wedding planning. While we both agree that we would prefer a low-key, inexpensive event, some amount of money is still going to be spent, and we are having trouble raising the funds on our own. I know that it is typical for the father of the bride to pay for the majority of the expenses, but being that there is no bride, this makes things more difficult. My fiancé’s parents are well off and very supportive, but my own parents, especially my father, are not as well off. My question is: How do I go about asking either parent for financial support for this wedding? If I want this wedding to go the way I’d like, I need some type of financial aid. Gay marriage is fairly new, so there doesn’t seem to be any precedent set for this.
—Overwhelmed Grooms-to-Be
Dear OGTB
I understand your concern.The Supreme Court, in their decisions about gay marriage, neglected to address the pressing issue of just who is going to pay for them. Since many wedding rituals come from the time when women were handed over from their fathers to their husbands, gay and lesbian couples who marry have a chance to help blow up these anachronistic assumptions—including that the bride’s family pays. It’s great if any engaged couple has parents who are willing and able to help underwrite the celebration. What’s not great is for people old enough to get married to pressure their aging parents to jeopardize their own bank accounts to pay for your party. You say your parents are of limited means. That means you don’t hit them up to pay for a wedding you can’t afford. After all someday you may be in their shoes… Unless they make you fall down, Hope this helps
EV
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