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Archive for November, 2012

Zurich To Open Drive-In Sex Boxes On First Come Basis, Get It On The Go

November 30, 2012

The Swiss city of Zurich is to open drive-in sex boxes in an attempt to rid the town of street prostitution. Zurich city council has approved a plan to build the boxes, which will, it hopes, provide a discreet location for prostitutes and their clients to conduct business when they open in August next year. Located in an industrial area of the city, the row of garage-like boxes will have roofs and walls for privacy, and easy access for cars. The council estimates that around 30 prostitutes will meet clients at the site of the boxes, and use the drive-in slots on a first-come-first-served basis.

The city council said no expense will be spared to provide a high end experience  that first come customers can get on the go.

limo

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Grand Canyon Flood Release A Success, People Living In Their Van Down By The River Not So Lucky

November 29, 2012

Sandy beaches have reappeared more than 100 miles (160 kilometers) downstream of Glen Canyon Dam, an early measure of success for a massive flood last week designed to rebuild habitat along the Colorado River in the iconic Grand Canyon.

However, it will be weeks before scientists know whether the six days of high flows realized the Department of the Interior’s goals of moving more than 500,000 metric tons of sediment down the canyon. The department ordered the flood, released in a gush from the Glen Canyon Dam starting Nov. 19, to help create beaches and back eddies for campers, rafters and native fish. The gush not so good for those living in their van down by the river.

 

Crazy Warren Buffett Supports The Buffett Tax Plan, It Works If Man Is Still Alive And Woman Can Survive

November 28, 2012

The Buffett Rule supports taxing people that make over a $1m at 30%. The problem  is the government is way bigger than even the capacity of the rich to sustain it. It would raise $3.2 billion a year, and take 514 years just to pay off Obama’s 2011 budget deficit.” Based on this, the 2011 deficit would be paid off in the year 2526 plus or minus a year. Plan works if man is still alive and women can survive.

 

Gun Sales To Women Soar On Black Friday Due To Potential Gun Grab Or Just Door Buster Strategy

November 28, 2012

Black Friday gun sales hit an all time record high last week with demand for new firearms so overwhelming that it caused outages at the FBI background check center on two separate occasions.

Fueled by fears that the Obama administration will go after gun rights during a lame duck term, the FBI reported 154,873 background check requests on Friday – a 20 per cent increase on last year’s record total of 129,166 checks.

Gun stores noted that first time gun owners and women represented a significant number of those purchasing firearms on Black Friday.

Gun sales to women soar on Black Friday. Women fear gun grab or just  improved Black Friday Doorbuster strategy.

Ask The Eye, Reader Rejects Naming Her Child Vulva, How About The Name Seven You Can Bend It Like Beckham

November 28, 2012

Dear Eye View

My husband and I are expecting our first child, a girl, around Christmas. We thought nothing could sadden us during this happy time, but were shocked last week to hear that my husband’s mother was taken from us in an auto accident. In his grief, my husband asked that we name our daughter after his late mother. The problem is that my mother in law’s name was Vulva, and I just can’t fathom giving my child such a horrid name. I had been thinking something along the lines of Virginia or Lou Ann. I told my husband I would think about it, but he’s pressing the issue, and I need to tell him something. Am I being selfish for not wanting to name my child Vulva, even under these circumstances?

Desperate

Dear Desperate

I understand your desperation. Tell your husband you feel uncomfortable naming your child after a body part and there are other wonderful names his mother would aprove. For instance, I have always liked the name Seven. It’s Mickey Mantle’s number. So not only is it a beautiful name, it is also a living tribute to Mickey and your mother- in- law. If he objects you can always use it as a middle name. You can bend it like Beckham. Hope this helps.

EV

 

17- Year Old Manager Of Long John Silver’s Puts Camera In Womens Restroom, A Hole New Way To Get Girls

November 26, 2012

Women were shocked to learn that they were being secretly videotaped while using the restroom at a Vallejo Long John Silver’s restaurant. Police say a teenage employee at the fast food restaurant was capturing their every move.“That’s disgusting,” said one woman. “It’s a complete violation.” Female residents were creeped out learning what one customer allegedly found inside the Long John Silvers.

Officers respond to the fast food restaurant and found a cell phone hidden in a vent of the women’s restroom. The phone had been recording when it was discovered.

Police determined that the 17-year-old manager was the one who put it there, and he was arrested. A 17- year old finds a hole new way to get girls.

UK Proposing Virtual Clinics Allowing Technology To Replace Doctors Visits, Thats How Doctors Will Roll

November 26, 2012

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt is planning a technological revolution that could spell the end of the traditional doctor’s surgery.

A new system of “virtual clinics” is being planned in which GPs connect with patients via iPads and Skype, an idea that NHS bosses are importing from India.

The reforms would save £2.9billion “almost immediately” and improve the lives of most patients, for example by avoiding the need to find child care during appointments, Health Minister Dr Dan Poulter said last week.

However, critics are concerned the initiative would create a two-tier NHS in which the less technologically able,  particularly the elderly, would be left behind.

New virtual clinics, thats how doctors will roll.

 

 

Caviar Now Dispensed In Beverly Hills Vending Machine, Someone Needs Their Head Examined

November 25, 2012

Caviar is not the usual fare one would expect from a vending machine. Beverly Hills Caviar has unveiled its first touch-screen vending machine at the Burbank Towne Center, offering “a large selection of the world’s finest selection of caviar, truffles, escargot, bottarga, blinis, oils, Mother of Pearl plates and spoons, gift boxes and gourmet salts.”

Prices range from under $50 up to $500, KNX 1070’s Vytas Safroncikas reports.“Oh my God, too expensive for me. I can’t afford  that,” one passersby said of the products offered by the vending machine.“Yeah, I can think of probably better things I can buy out of a vending machine than fish eggs,” another passersby said.

Someone needs their head examined.

 

 

Post Card Mailed In 1943 Finally Arrives, Sometimes Post Cards Are Found In Old Mailbags

November 24, 2012

A postcard sent to two Elmira sisters nearly seven decades ago arrived last week at the intended address, but it ended up in the hands of two different sisters.

The postcard, sent July 4, 1943, from Rockford, Ill., was intended for Pauline and Theresa Leisenring, who once lived in the home along Bridgman Street in Elmira.

It was sent by their parents, who were visiting their brother at the Medical Center Barracks at Camp Grant.

Last week, the postcard arrived at the home of Adam and Laura Rundell.

“It was delivered in mint condition. We were so shocked,” Laura said. “It’s a treasure that just showed up in the mailbox with our address on it.

Karen Mazurkiewicz, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Postal Service in Buffalo stated ”Sometimes, letters or postcards are found in an old mailbag or behind machinery.

Hello Newman

 

Hostess Bakers Said They Would Rather Lose Their Jobs, Cutting Off Their Ding Dong To Spite Their Ho Ho

November 22, 2012

Enough is enough, say bakery workers at Hostess Brands Inc.

After several years of costly concessions, the Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco and Grain Millers Union (BCTGM) authorized a walk-out earlier this month after Hostess received bankruptcy court approval to implement a wage cut that was not included in its contract.

With operations stalled, the company that makes Twinkies and other famous U.S. brands said last week that liquidating its business was the best way to preserve its dwindling cash. It won court approval on Wednesday to start winding down in a process expected to claim 15,000 jobs immediately and over 3,000 more after about four months.

Interviews with more than a dozen workers showed there was little sign of regret from employees who voted for the strike. They said they would rather lose their jobs than put up with lower wages and poorer benefits.

Cutting off their Ding Dongs to spite their Ho Hos.