Archive for July, 2011

Apple Has More Cash Than The US, Forget China Take Loan From Apple, Theres An App For That

July 29, 2011

Here’s something to keep in mind as you follow this evening’s congressional debate over the debt ceiling.

According to the latest daily statement from the U.S. Treasury, the government had an operating cash balance of $73.8 billion at the end of the day yesterday.

Apple’s last earnings report showed that the company had $76.2 billion in cash and marketable securities at the end of June.

In other words, the world’s largest tech company has more cash than the world’s largest sovereign government.

That’s because Apple collects more money than it spends, while the U.S. government does not.

Forget the Chinese. time to hit up Apple for a loan..

Toilet Explosion Injures Man During Training Exercises

July 28, 2011

A man from the Royal Australian Air Force suffered life-threatening  third-degree burns after a portaloo exploded Monday at an airport Down Under —  an incident connected to an ongoing US-led military exercise in the area, The  Courier-Mail reported.

Officials believe the man was using the portable toilet (also known as a  port-a-potty) at Rockhampton Airport, in the state of Queensland, when he lit a  cigarette.

“There was some sort of explosion,” a Department of Community Safety  spokeswoman said. “He suffered burns to his head, face, arms, chest and  airways.”

A spokeswoman from Talisman Sabre 2011 — a US-led exercise supported by  Australian forces — confirmed the explosion was a military training incident but said no  further information was available at this stage.

The spokeswoman added our guys take these training games very serious.

Dollywood Theme Park Cracks Down On Family Unfriendly T-Shirts

July 28, 2011

A lesbian couple is asking for changes at Dollywood after an employee asked one of the women to turn her T-shirt reading “marriage is so gay” inside-out to avoid offending others on a recent visit to the Tennessee theme park complex.

Olivier Odom and Jennifer Tipton said Tuesday they want the park to be more inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families after Odom was asked to reverse her shirt when they visited Dollywood Splash Country next to the Pigeon Forge amusement park. The story was first reported by WBIR-TV in Knoxville.

Dollywood spokesman Pete Owens said on Tuesday that Dollywood is open to all families, but their dress code policy is to ask people with clothing or tattoos that could be considered offensive to change clothes or cover up.

Owens added that we do sell very tasteful regional  and family friendly t-shirts in our Dollywood gift shop.

Ask The Eye, Avoid the Wedding Gift Causa Mortis

July 26, 2011

Dear Eye View

I went to a wedding a few months ago, where the bride and groom had said they didn’t want any gifts—just our presence. Since I’d travelled quite a ways to get there, I took them up on their offer. However, I just got a thank you note in
the mail, thanking me for the incredibly generous gift I’d gotten them (a
mountain bike!) with a note about how much the groom is looking forward to going biking with me, and how much it meant to them that this gift came from me. I’m 100 percent sure that nobody gifted this in my name, but somehow the card I left (with no gift) got associated with the bike. How do I say that I was a
cheapskate and didn’t get them anything!? Desperate

Dear Desperate

I understand your concern. Let them know right away, that you did not give them that bike. In triplicate. Its the right thing to do..

Hope this helps.


US Postal Service Launching Another Study

July 26, 2011

The Postal Service is launching a study of thousands of local post offices for possible closure in an effort to save money.

The cash-strapped agency, which lost $8 billion last year, scheduled a briefing for Tuesday at which it is expected to announce the action.

Most of the approximately 3,600 offices that face reviews are in rural areas, but postal official say they are looking into alternate service, such as locating offices in local businesses, town halls or community centers.

In those cases the so-called Village Post Office would replace one to be closed. Of the 1,400 offices announced for review in January, 620 are still in the review process and 300 will move to the new review list.

US Postal Service launches studies, reviewing processes, and making lists.

Norway Killer Facing 82 Days In Prison Per Murder, Must Be Metric System

July 25, 2011

The fact that Norway’s maximum penalty for any crime is 21 years in prison is
facing rising criticism in the wake of the twin attacks that killed 93 people,
with many deeming the penalty too lax.

Ever since Norwegian media named 32-year-old Anders Behring Breivik as the
prime suspect, calls have been growing for the maximum penalty under the
Norwegian penal code to be extended.

If found guilty, Behring Breivik’s 21 years in prison would equal a penalty
of 82 days per killing.

Must be the metric system.

New Super Congress, More DC Comics

July 24, 2011

Debt ceiling negotiators think they’ve hit on a solution to address the debt ceiling impasse and the public’s unwillingness to let go of benefits such as Medicare and Social Security that have been earned over a lifetime of work: Create a new Congress.

This “Super Congress,” composed of members of both chambers and both parties, isn’t mentioned anywhere in the Constitution, but would be granted extraordinary new powers. Under a plan put forth by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and his counterpart Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), legislation to lift the debt ceiling would be accompanied by the creation of a 12-member panel made up of 12 lawmakers — six from each chamber and six from each party.

More DC comics.

Worlds Largest McDonalds Scheduled for Olympic Games in London Ready to Stick the Landing

July 22, 2011

McDonald’s is certainly taking the Olympic motto to heart by building its largest restaurant ever for the 2012 Summer Games in London. The 32,000 square foot monstrosity is just one of four new locations the burger giant will use to serve the sports-loving fans who flock to the city. The restaurant expects to serve a mound of fast food over the nearly month-long Games. Early projections include 50,000 Big Macs, more than 100,000 portions of fries and 30,000 milkshakes.

But British health officials don’t think there’s anything happy about these meals.

“Given the huge public health issues of childhood obesity,” said parliament health committee member Grahame Morris in a statement, “it is legitimate to question whether having the world’s biggest McDonald’s at the Olympic Park is sending an appropriate message to our young people.”

McDonalds responds saying there is a little McDonalds in everyone..

Clown Driving Fork Lift Drops $1M Worth of Wine

July 22, 2011

IT was certainly an expensive drop – more than $1 million worth of shiraz wine has gone down the drain after it was dropped by a malfunctioning forklift.

The 462 cases of 2010 Mollydooker Velvet Glove shiraz – at $185 a bottle – fell more than 6m to the ground as it was being loaded for export from Adelaide to the US.

The drop was so forceful, the bottles punched through the top of the cartons. Winemaker Sparky Marquis said the accident had cost him a third of his annual production.

“We just couldn’t believe it,” Mr Marquis said.

“This wine is our pride and joy, so to see it accidentally destroyed, and not consumed, has left us all a bit numb.”

Marquis added “thats what happens when you let some clown drive a fork lift.”

Ask The Eye, Put It Behind You

July 22, 2011

Dear Eye View,
My mother died a decade ago; neither she nor my father had burial plans, so we scrambled and Dad bought a double plot. A few years later, Dad met a nice woman. They live together and call themselves engaged but are not getting married for financial reasons. Recently, Dad wanted to discuss his final arrangements with me and my brother. Dad stated that he and
his fiancee both want to be cremated and buried in the plot with my mother. My mother cared very much for social conventions. Putting my father and his girlfriend in the ground with her for eternity seems like a slight, and it also bothers me. After my father dies, I’m thinking of having my mother exhumed and cremated, and keeping her ashes with me. I know this is probably prohibitively expensive, and if my mother were alive she’d tell me not to spend money on a corpse. But I’m appalled at my father’s lack of respect for his wife of nearly 50 years. The tombstone is going to read as if he were cheating on her
throughout their marriage. She deserves better. (So does his fiancee, frankly.)
How should I approach this with him?

—Grieving but Trying Not To Be Morbid


I understand your concern. This sounds like it is more about your social conventions  than your mother.  What if your brother does not want you to exhume your mothers body? What if your father and his girlfriend break up? What if your father’s girlfriend dies before him and  finds another girlfriend he wants  buried with them? Get on with your life. You need to put your grief behind you……How about a nice tattoo. Hope this helps..