Moody Eye View

Dear Eye View

I went to a wedding a few months ago, where the bride and groom had said they didn’t want any gifts—just our presence. Since I’d travelled quite a ways to get there, I took them up on their offer. However, I just got a thank you note in
the mail, thanking me for the incredibly generous gift I’d gotten them (a
mountain bike!) with a note about how much the groom is looking forward to going biking with me, and how much it meant to them that this gift came from me. I’m 100 percent sure that nobody gifted this in my name, but somehow the card I left (with no gift) got associated with the bike. How do I say that I was a
cheapskate and didn’t get them anything!? Desperate

Dear Desperate

I understand your concern. Let them know right away, that you did not give them that bike. In triplicate. Its the right thing to do..

Hope this helps.

EV

Dear Eye View,
My mother died a decade ago; neither she nor my father had burial plans, so we scrambled and Dad bought a double plot. A few years later, Dad met a nice woman. They live together and call themselves engaged but are not getting married for financial reasons. Recently, Dad wanted to discuss his final arrangements with me and my brother. Dad stated that he and
his fiancee both want to be cremated and buried in the plot with my mother. My mother cared very much for social conventions. Putting my father and his girlfriend in the ground with her for eternity seems like a slight, and it also bothers me. After my father dies, I’m thinking of having my mother exhumed and cremated, and keeping her ashes with me. I know this is probably prohibitively expensive, and if my mother were alive she’d tell me not to spend money on a corpse. But I’m appalled at my father’s lack of respect for his wife of nearly 50 years. The tombstone is going to read as if he were cheating on her
throughout their marriage. She deserves better. (So does his fiancee, frankly.)
How should I approach this with him?

—Grieving but Trying Not To Be Morbid

Dear GBRNTBM

I understand your concern. This sounds like it is more about your social conventions  than your mother.  What if your brother does not want you to exhume your mothers body? What if your father and his girlfriend break up? What if your father’s girlfriend dies before him and  finds another girlfriend he wants  buried with them? Get on with your life. You need to put your grief behind you……How about a nice tattoo. Hope this helps..

EV