Archive for April, 2011

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Ask The Eye, Tell Him To Stop Draining You

April 29, 2011

Dear Eye View,
About two years ago, I signed up to be a bone marrow donor. Six months later, I was matched to a man in his 30s with leukemia. I traveled 600 miles to his hospital to donate, and my recovery was somewhat painful. Shortly afterward I was contacted by my recipient: He survived due to the treatments and my bone marrow. I was happy for him and felt good about myself for helping to save his life. The problem is, he constantly contacts me to talk and thanks me all the time for my “gift.” This isn’t just once a month or once a week, but every day. I now cringe every time I see his number pop up on my cellphone. Is it rude for me to tell the man I helped save that I no longer want to speak to him? Am I obligated to be his friend?

—Donor Fatigue

Dear DF

I understand your concern. You did a good thing and now in a strange twist you have been drained of your bone marrow and now is being  drained  emotionally because of his neediness. Maybe he is overly grateful, or worse, he is keeping you close by, in case he has a relapse and needs you again. In any case, his behavior is counter productive and is turning you away from helping him again. Tell him you donated allowing him to have a fresh start and to use it. Of course it could be worse. He could be draining you from the hip as well. Hope this helps.

EV

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Oprah, The Ultimate Politician, Must Own Up Will Not Publicly Support Obama In 2012, FWFF

April 28, 2011

When talk show queen Oprah Winfrey announced she was publicly supporting Barack Obama for president back in 2008, she shocked many TV insiders who had always thought it best for talk show hosts to keep their political views to themselves.

Now as the 2012 election process has officially begun, sources tell me this time around Oprah’s support will be much more private.

“For 2012, much has changed for Oprah. She now has own cable channel called OWN that has been struggling to find an audience — she isn’t going to do anything to alienate them,” a TV insider tells me. “Unlike in 2008, when a drop in ratings didn’t matter as much for the queen of TV, Oprah is now fighting every day to get people to tune into OWN.”

As much as Oprah may still love President Obama and may support him behind the scenes, do not expect to see the same public support you saw in 2008. As my source puts it, “Helping a friend keep the most important job in the world is great, but making sure her OWN network thrives is now her priority.”

Oprah and Barrack FWFF. Fair weather friends forever.

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Obamas Birth Certificate PDF Is Found To Be Fraudulent PDQ Thanks To AFC

April 28, 2011

Our investigation of the purported Obama birth certificate released by Hawaiian authorities today reveals the document is a shoddily contrived hoax. Infowars.com computer specialists dismissed the document as a fraud soon after examining it.

Upon first inspection, the document appears to be a photocopy taken from state records and printed on official green paper. However, when the government released PDF is taken into the image editing program Adobe Illustrator, we discover a number of separate elements that reveal the document is not a single scan on paper, as one might surmise. Elements are place in layers or editing boxes over the scan and green textured paper, which is to say the least unusual.

Obamas PDF is found to be fraudulent PDQ with AFC.

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99-Year Old Nascar Fan Drives On Track, Rolls Back The Clock

April 27, 2011

 A die-hard Nascar fan got to live out her fantasy at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway on Tuesday.

Rachel Gilbert, who is approaching her 100th birthday, got to take a few laps around the track.

Gilbert, a Nascar fan since she and her husband went to The Daytona 500 50 years ago, sounded a little bit overwhelmed. She was aiming to hit 100 miles per hour.

“I wish I could have (reached 100 mph), you know, but I went up to 53 or 54,” said Gilbert. 

She added I was going so fast sometimes I felt like I was going backwards.

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Crappy Royal Wedding Memorabilia Falls Short Of Saving Britains Economy

April 27, 2011

Let’s hope Friday’s big blowout is a right royal good time. Because thanks in part to a quirk in the calendar, it’s set to take a pretty heavy toll on Britain’s economy — which isn’t in great health already.

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that Friday will be a national holiday — or Bank Holiday, as it’s known here — so that everyone can enjoy the day.

But according to the consulting firm Investec, a day without work could knock as much as a quarter of a percent off growth for the quarter, translating to a loss to the economy of as much as $50 billion. “You will basically lose a day of output, and largely speaking that will be that,” Philip Shaw, an Investec economist, has said.

A business lobbying group has put the loss figure at around $10 billion. But either way, it’s likely to far outstrip the positive impact on the economy from the influx of tourists and sales of wedding memorabilia, estimated at around $1.5-2 billion.

Sales of crappy Royal Wedding Memorabilia can’t overcome loss of British economy.

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Pope John Pauls Blood To Be Split Between Italy and Poland, Holy Blood Drive

April 27, 2011

 A small quantity of blood from the late Pope John Paul II will be exposed as a holy relic during his beatification on Sunday (May 1), the Vatican has announced.

The blood was taken during a medical test shortly before John Paul’s death in April 2005, and later divided into four containers, according to a Vatican statement released on Tuesday (April 26).

Two of the containers were kept by then-Archbishop Stanislaw Dziwisz, John Paul’s private secretary, who is now a cardinal in John Paul’s native Krakow, Poland. The other two containers were kept by Catholic nuns at Rome’s Bambino Gesu Hospital.

As reported earlier, some of same blood will be permanently displayed at the Shrine of Divine Mercy in Lagiewniki, outside Krakow. The display will begin on May 8, the feast of Poland’s Patron St. Stanislaw.

The Vatican’s statement, presumably hoping to dispel any thoughts of supernatural explanation, noted that the blood remains in a liquid state, due to the presence of an “anticoagulant” at the time of collection.

 Pope John Pauls blood split between Italy and Poland..Holy blood drive.

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Inventor of Teleprompter Dies, Obama is Speechless

April 27, 2011

You’ve never heard of Hubert J. “Hub” Schlafly Jr., but if you’ve seen a major political speech in the past generation, you know his work.  Schlafly invented the TelePrompTer and changed public address in America. He died April 20th in Connecticut.

President Barack Obama, is hailed by supporters as a gifted orator. But he has been lambasted by critics for his reliance on the teleprompter. In truth, every President since Dwight D. Eisenhower, excepting Nixon, has used one for major speeches in Congress.

Schlafly, a TV engineer, developed the device in the 1950’s to help soap opera actors remember their lines, according to the Washington Post.

But it  is politicians who made the device, which has evolved with technology, most famous. A seamlessly executed teleprompter-aided speech allows the speaker to read from notes while giving the impression that the speech is given from memory.

When asked about the death of Schlafly, President Obama was speechless.

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McDonald Employee Videotapes Assault Not Exactly A Good Samaritan

April 25, 2011

The viral video has shocked tens of thousands of people.  It shows a transgender woman beaten by two teenage girls at a McDonald’s in Rosedale.The vicious assault captured on the cell phone camera of a McDonald’s employee has outraged thousands across the country.  The victim, 22-year-old Chrissy Polis—who’s transgender—says the incident started as she was trying to use the restroom at the McDonald’s.  She told her story to our media partner, The Baltimore Sun.

Police have arrested a 14-year-old girl and an 18-year-old girl they say attacked Polis.  The 18-year-old has been identified as Teonna Monae Brown.

“They just seemed like they wanted to pick a fight that night, they really did.  And come to find out that girl was only 14 years old.  I was shocked,” she said.  “They kicked me in my face; they really hurt me really bad and I’m just afraid to go outside now because of stuff like this.”

Only one McDonald’s employee can be seen trying to intervene in the assault.  Several others can be heard laughing.  McDonald’s says the employee who videotaped the attack has since been fired.

For the McDonald’s employee thats a wrap..

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Ask The Eye, Unnormal Wear and Tear

April 25, 2011

Dear Eye View,
I live in a group house, and one of the roommates is the landlord. He had an office chair in the living room. Several months ago while my boyfriend was sitting in it, the leg snapped and the chair was broken. The landlord previously told us that he bought the chair on Craigslist for $30. I’m now moving out, and the landlord has asked me to replace the chair and suggested a similar one from a local store that costs about $300. I think it’s unreasonable for me to buy him a brand-new chair for that amount of money when that’s not what was broken. I’ve offered to reimburse him what he actually paid for the chair. Am I being a jerk?

—Unseated

Dear Unseated

I understand your concern. I am not a lawyer but play one on television. Tell your landlord the chair was defective through normal wear and tear and you owe him nothing. If he threatens to hold your security deposit, send him the bill for your boyfriends  chair due to his new “back injury”. Hope this helps.

EV

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Obama Believes In Transparancy As Long As It Does Not Involve Him

April 24, 2011

The lone Republican in the Hawaii State Senate told a radio interviewer today he believes “the real issue” stopping Barack Obama from releasing his long-form birth certificate is something the president has to hide, perhaps even the name of his actual birth father.

Asked what that could be, Slom said, “It could have to do with what his name is on the birth certificate, who is actually listed as his father, the citizenship of the father.”

He continued, “My belief is that there is a birth certificate, he was born here, but that there is information that for reasons known only to him he doesn’t want released. If it were just the birth certificate, that would be one thing, but it’s his school records, it’s employment records. … Why would anybody, let alone the president of the United States, spend millions of dollars in legal fees to keep that hidden?”

 Besides Obama’s actual birth documentation, the president has refused to release his Punahou high school records, Occidental College records, Columbia University records, Columbia thesis, Harvard Law School records, Harvard Law Review articles, scholarly articles from the University of Chicago, passport, medical records, files from his years as an Illinois state senator, Illinois State Bar Association records, baptism records and his adoption records.

Obama supports transparency.

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