Dear Eye View,
About two years ago, I signed up to be a bone marrow donor. Six months later, I was matched to a man in his 30s with leukemia. I traveled 600 miles to his hospital to donate, and my recovery was somewhat painful. Shortly afterward I was contacted by my recipient: He survived due to the treatments and my bone marrow. I was happy for him and felt good about myself for helping to save his life. The problem is, he constantly contacts me to talk and thanks me all the time for my “gift.” This isn’t just once a month or once a week, but every day. I now cringe every time I see his number pop up on my cellphone. Is it rude for me to tell the man I helped save that I no longer want to speak to him? Am I obligated to be his friend?
I understand your concern. You did a good thing and now in a strange twist you have been drained of your bone marrow and now is being drained emotionally because of his neediness. Maybe he is overly grateful, or worse, he is keeping you close by, in case he has a relapse and needs you again. In any case, his behavior is counter productive and is turning you away from helping him again. Tell him you donated allowing him to have a fresh start and to use it. Of course it could be worse. He could be draining you from the hip as well. Hope this helps.